ARTICLE:

It truly is a shame.

I see literally hundreds of ads each week that speak volumes about the advertiser -- and about 85% of those aren't saying much. Remember, your ad is a representation of *you* and your product. Be sure to treat it as such.

Is your ad copy losing customers for you?

Are you sure?

I'll not bore you with a lecture. Instead, we'll learn the fun way ... by talking about other people!

Just kidding. We'll learn by example.

Here are a few examples of "sales-losing" advertising to avoid in your own copy at all costs.

NOTE: Names have been changed to protect the moronic.

1. The ImADunce Web hosting company proudly proclaims to offer:

"The lowest prices on the Internet *almost* guaranteed!"

Hmph.

Either it's guaranteed, or it ain't!

I'm sure their prospects are "almost" confident about doing business with ImADunce Web Hosting right about now. I mean ... wouldn't you be? :-/

2. Ezine publisher, Mr. Hold U. Hostij is guilty of:

Having a prominent, clickable e-mail link for subscriptions, but forcing people who want to UNsubscribe to dig an e-mail address from a separate section of the newsletter (from the same color text), and to copy and paste (or TYPE) that address into their e-mail client to leave the ezine.

Huh?!

I really liked Easter egg hunts as a kid, but this is ridiculous.

3. Itza Ripoff customer service outsourcing promises to:

Offer real-time chat support to your website visitors.

But wait.

That's not all.

If Itza Ripoff handles 150-200 customer service inquiries for you in a month, it'll cost you $3,500.

Wow, what a steal! *cough*

But that's STILL not all.

Even if Itza Ripoff handles only 0-25 customer service inquiries for you in a month, it'll cost you $600.

Red alert! Warning! The plane is going down!

Do you see a problem here? If they handle NO inquiries for you at all, you'll STILL be donating $600 a month to Itza Ripoff's charity. Oops -- I mean "service."

Now unless they're talking Monopoly money, I'm just not buying. No pun intended. And for anyone who would, well ... "I pity the fool," as they say.

By the way ... how will they be able to verify the number of inquiries they handled? And WOULD they?

Uh-oh -- we'd better not go there.

4. Bulk mailer I. Lyke Spam promises that their service is:

"So Simple, So Affective!"

Ahem! If it's so "Affective," why couldn't they spell it right? And why wasn't their editor "affective" enough to notice that they combined two sentences into one?

Gee. I bet they'd claim that this same spam I got by e-mail is also "So Opt-in!"

Whaddya think?

5. WeSukk AtMarketing Promotional Services asks:

"Do You Need A Helping Hand!"

(Umm ... are they asking me, or telling me?)

And they go on to say:

"Do You Need a Helping Hand in Promoting your Opportunities, Products or Services?"

Oh, that's better.

Even so, I still wouldn't call on them. They spammed me, and they obviously don't know the difference between a statement and a question. And to top it all off, They Have The Most Annoying Habit Of Capitalizing Each Word In A Sentence.

Did I mention I HATE that?

I think I'll pass.

And To End This...

Now, none of your advertising will probably be this bad.

Or this obvious.

Or this obviously bad.

But, these are real-life examples of what COULD happen if you're not careful to proofread your advertising, evaluate your sales message, and take the time to just plain GET IT RIGHT.

Be sure to craft a convincing, professional sales message, and proofread it to perfection. Then for goodness sake, don't forget to ask yourself...

What is YOUR ad copy saying about you?