Everyone seems to be writing articles about professionalism on the Internet lately, and as much as I hate to conform to "the norm," I feel compelled to do the same. Only, in THIS article, I'll be telling it like it is ... no holds barred.

There are just some things you absolutely do NOT do in a business relationship. I'll be covering most of those. As you read this article, pick out the ones that people do to YOU ... and call them on it. ~LOL~

Tell them to:

"START ACTING MORE PROFESSIONAL, and..."

1. Stop cursing at me!

There's nothing more unprofessional than someone who feels the need to sprinkle various expletives throughout what's supposed to be a *business* communication. Nothing too "hard core," but still enough to be offensive.

And you'll still encounter those that argue,

"I only 'talk' to people like that with people I feel comfortable with."

Errr ... are you falling for that? I don't care HOW comfortable a person makes me feel, I don't go around disrespecting 'em like that.

So tell them!

"We're not your bar room buddies, so don't address us as if we were."

I find that offensive OFFline, so why would I accept it ONline?

2. Stop writing me without introducing yourself and, for heaven's sake ... tell me what you WANT!

"Yeah, I want to know ... Is this really free, or is this a scam???"

Well, hello to you, too.

What did you say your name was again?

And, is WHAT free? An affiliate program? My ezine? WHAT?!

Am I the only one who gets e-mail like that?

This is THE most annoying thing you can do when sending business e-mail. Or any e-mail, for that matter.

Would you phone a company and start firing questions or demands at them? I hope not. So why would you do it to a business online? Give us that same respect.

Introduce yourself when you're writing someone for the first time, and explain EXACTLY what you're writing them FOR.

And for heaven's sake, PLEASE use a subject line in your e-mail. Don't just assume we'll know what you're writing about. If you do, we'll probably "assume" that the e-mail is spam ... and trash it.

3. Stop yelling at me!

"When I tried to submit an ad in your newsletter, I got a 'not found' page. I'm TRYING to buy ads and I NEED the correct URL! Duh, idiot! PLEASE ADVISE!!!!!!!!"

Ahem ... I guess this person thought I was SO money-hungry that I would write him back, apologizing profusely for my ignorance, and rush him the information that he needed without further delay!!??

~LOL~

The site he'd come from had referred him to my ezine ad page with an invalid URL. Annoying, sure ... but not my fault. And anyway, I'm NEVER going to be that hard up for money that I'd actually do business with someone so rude.

Money or no money.

Instead, I deleted his e-mail (something I never usually advocate), as I felt the situation called for it. The letter was also much worse than what I printed above.

Don't let people disrespect you, and don't feel powerless against this kind of treatment ... because you CAN do something about it:

Choose not to do business with these "businesspeople."

4. Go easy on the "Ebonics!"

When people say to be personal and casual in your writing, they mean not to sound rigid, like you're writing a research paper. They DO NOT mean that you should use words like "fit'na". (i.e. I'm fit'na write dis herre ezine, aiight?)

This is still business, no matter how leisurely. Don't run the risk of sounding like you're fresh out of Junior High.

Instead, write more casually with people by using contractions (like "you're" instead of "you are"; "I'm" instead of "I am"; etc.) And be careful not to overuse slang, as our International business colleagues might not have a clue what you mean.

And last, but DEFINITELY not least ...

5. Check your spelling!

"Theirs nothing moor anoying then someone who caint spel on the webb."

Ugh!

Not only does this look like a third grader wrote it, but it also clouds the message you're trying to get across. If people have to fight through various spelling and grammatical errors, they lose sight of what you're trying to convey with your message.

Ever noticed how s-l-o-w-l-y you have to read something that doesn't seem to make sense? By the time you get to the end of the paragraph you're sweating with effort, and have forgotten what you were even reading about in the first place.

My advice for spelling and grammar goof-ups?

Keep these people OFFLINE ... or at least get them an e-mail program that can spell check their messages before they send them out. (There's no excuse -- most of them can do that nowadays.)

There's less of a chance that you'll have to suffer through one of their misspelled outpourings.

Those are my five rants for the week. I hope I was able to give you a "BOY can I relate to THAT!" kind of laugh -- and also help spruce up the 'Net a bit.

But ... probably not.

The people who NEEDED to read this article most are the ones who skipped it when they read the title.